When you hear the word “trauma,” but you think “What is trauma?” You might picture a life-changing event like a car accident or assault. But trauma isn’t always about those big, dramatic experiences. Some of the most impactful trauma can come from small, everyday moments. You might not even recognize them as traumatic.

So, what is trauma? Trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope and leaves a lasting emotional imprint. It’s not about the size of the event but how it affects you. For some, trauma comes from a single incident, like a violent event. For others, it comes from repeated emotional wounds over time. We call this complex trauma.

Complex trauma can show up from experiences like:

• Growing up in a household where you didn’t feel loved or seen
• Chronic criticism or emotional neglect
• Feeling unworthy or rejected in relationships
• Toxic work environments or long-term stress
• Navigating societal pressures as a neurodiverse or LGBTQIA+ person

These experiences might not scream “trauma,” but they can leave deep emotional scars. Trauma doesn’t just mean surviving an obvious catastrophe. It can come from emotional and psychological pain that accumulates over time.

But What If I Don’t Think I Have it?

You might be thinking, “But I don’t think I have trauma. Life’s just hard sometimes.” It’s true that life comes with its fair share of challenges. But when those challenges leave a lasting impact on your emotions or sense of self, it might be more than just life—it might be trauma.

Trauma can often be hidden. This makes it difficult to recognize, even when it’s having a big impact. Here are some signs you might be dealing with hidden trauma:

• Feeling stuck: You can’t seem to move forward, no matter how hard you try.
• Emotional numbness or overwhelm: You either feel disconnected from your emotions or like you’re drowning in them.
• Recurring patterns: The same issues keep showing up in relationships or work, and you can’t break the cycle.
• Chronic anxiety or worry: You feel constantly on edge, even when there’s no clear reason to be.
• People-pleasing or perfectionism: You feel a strong need to keep everyone happy or to do everything perfectly, often without understanding why.

If you’re experiencing any of these, hidden trauma may be playing a role. Hidden trauma is tricky because it often looks like normal life stress or emotional challenges. But if those feelings persist and impact your ability to live fully, trauma might be at the root.

Why Is Trauma So Hard to Recognize?

One reason trauma is difficult to recognize is that we often expect it to look a certain way. Flashbacks, nightmares, or obvious signs of distress come to mind. But trauma can show up in much subtler ways. It might manifest as ongoing anxiety, the feeling that you’re never quite good enough, or a deep sense of being stuck, even when you can’t pinpoint the cause.

For many people, especially those who have experienced complex trauma, emotional pain builds up slowly over time. Growing up in a critical or neglectful environment, constantly feeling unsafe or unseen, or dealing with societal rejection based on your identity can all create trauma. These experiences may not seem “big” enough to count as trauma. Yet, they can leave lasting wounds that affect how you feel, think, and live.

How Do I Know If Trauma Is Affecting Me?

If you find yourself repeatedly asking, “Why do I feel this way?” or struggling with emotions that don’t seem to make sense for the situation, it could be a sign of unresolved trauma. Trauma isn’t just about what happened. It’s about how your mind and body respond to those past experiences.

If your emotional reactions or behaviors feel out of sync with what’s happening around you, it’s worth exploring whether trauma is part of the picture. Whether it’s from a single event or the slow accumulation of complex trauma, trauma can have a powerful effect on your emotional and mental health.

Working with a Trained and Experienced Therapist

If any of this resonates with you, it’s important to seek support from a therapist who understands the nuances of trauma. This is especially true for hidden trauma, which doesn’t always look obvious. A skilled therapist can help you unpack what’s really going on. They can figure out if trauma is playing a role and guide you through the healing process. They’ll help you navigate patterns and emotions that may be rooted in trauma. With support, you can start to feel more at ease and in control of your life.

One powerful way to resolve trauma is through bottom-up therapy approaches, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Somatic Experiencing, and sensorimotor therapy. These approaches focus on healing the emotional and physiological impact of trauma stored in the body, rather than relying only on talking through the trauma.

• EMDR helps you reprocess traumatic memories, allowing your brain to heal without needing to relive painful details.
• Somatic Experiencing works by tuning into the body’s sensations and releasing stored tension from past trauma.
• Sensorimotor therapy combines body awareness with cognitive processing to address the effects of trauma on both your mind and body.

These bottom-up therapies focus on how trauma impacts your nervous system. They help you regulate your emotional and physical responses. These approaches are especially helpful if you’ve tried talk therapy before and still feel stuck. By working from the body up to the brain, these approaches help resolve trauma at a deeper, more integrated level.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure of why certain emotions or patterns keep coming up, these approaches offer a compassionate and effective path to healing. With the right therapist and approach, you can release trauma’s hold on your life and move forward with greater clarity and peace.